Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Addiction...What Now?

I am posting this to provide help for anyone else going through similar situations with a family member.  This is the first in a series of postings which are in order of importance.

The text message from his friend informed us that my step son was once again in jail and my husband and I could bail him out in an hour.  The charges were driving on a suspended license and not maintaining his lane.  His friend lied to us when he returned the car keys, expressing his worry over my step son and that neither of them knew that his license had been suspended.  The lie was revealed when his friend, assuming we had posted bail, sent a message to my step son letting him know what he had said to us.  After retrieving and searching his car, bedroom and social media accounts, we chose to leave him in jail, buying us a week to make decisions.

My husband and I were in a rush to make choices in the first 72 hours.  We chose to leave his son in jail because we knew where he was and that was one less thing to worry about.  We searched the internet for drug rehab options and were overwhelmed.  I reached out to my employer’s drug free workplace provider and was given a lengthy list of rehabs in Georgia.  Just a list with phone numbers and addresses.  I was shocked to see how many were listed and started to make phone calls.

Action Items:
1.    Check your insurance company first.  They may have a list of centers.
2.    Most health insurance plans will only cover in-hospitalization detox.  This will be covered for only a few days until the patient is out of danger.  If an inpatient program is covered, it is only for 30 days.  You are not cured of anything in that short time period.
3.    Get a notebook and pen and keep it with you at all times.
4.    Anyone you speak with is a well-trained sales person and may even have a counseling background or is a recovered addict, too.  They will put you at ease, promise you that everything will be okay and sell you on their program.
5.    Can you afford to pay $15,000-50,000 in cash?  There are no payment plans.  Check with family members for help, credit cards, home equity lines of credit and look at loans from your 401k including medical hardship loans.
6.    Ask family and friends for help with the research.  This is the time for action, and you need all the help you can get.  If they make phone calls for you, provide them with the basics:  insurance card, date of birth and social security numbers.  Compile all research in your notebook.
7.    Check all reviews of any rehab center. Use the reviews on Google, Facebook, Better Business Bureau and call the police station in the town.
8.    All facilities have rules.  Find out what happens when rules are broken.
9.    If you can, tour the facility before selecting it.  If it’s too far away, start reaching out to family and friends in the area and ask them to tour it on your behalf.
10     Read “Setting Boundaries With Your Adult Children” by Allison Bottke.
11.   Sleep. Eat.  Talk to others.  Attend Alanon.  It’s amazing how much addiction has touched others.  You are not alone.

Sampling of Centers We Contacted:
1.  Talbott Recovery Addiction Treatment Center in Atlanta.  Our insurance plan was not accepted.  The living quarters were separate from the treatment center.  Cost for a three-month in-patient treatment plan are $47,000.  Out-patient treatment is also available.
2.  Blue Ridge Mountain Recovery Center in Ball Ground, Georgia.  The 30-day program costs $22,750 discounted to $15,750 if you are considered self-pay.  The deposit is $10,000 and then the rest must be paid soon after.  They contract with a lending company which will allow for a monthly payment.
3.  Freedom Treatment Center in Albion, Michigan.  This is an in-patient onsite facility.  The cost for this is $15,000 for a three month program.  The program is based in Christian Science and uses sauna therapy to help with detox.
4.  Phoenix House (multiple Locations throughout the United States).  This is an in-patient onsite facility.  The cost is $15,000 for a three month program.  You can pay $5000 each month or pay $12,100 for all three months up front at a discount.  The fees are non refundable, however if the patient leaves, he can always return at a later date to finish out the program.  It is dorm style living and not coed.  Patients are either self-pay, insurance or mandated by the court system to attend as opposed to jail.  Keep in mind, your loved one’s behavior and addiction will land them in the legal system including jail so I don’t actually feel it’s a negative to be exposed to addicts who are already in that situation.  This facility has a 12-step program available to patients, daily AA meetings and an in-house nurse and psychiatrist.  Medication and the psychiatrist are separate costs.  The psychiatrist is $300/hour.


Once we made the decision, the rehab facility provided us a list of items that my step-son could bring.   We discussed the plans during visitor hours with him and told him we would bail him out in the morning and drive him to the facility.  The jail was listening to the conversation and shortly after we left, we received a phone call that they were releasing him on his own recognizance since we were taking him to rehab in the morning.  We immediately put his cell phone on suspend (lost/stolen) so that it wouldn’t work, removed the internet from the house and brought him home for a shower.  The next day, we drove him to the facility which was located six hours from our home.  He was willing to go but then again, he was all out of options with us.  This was the end of a 5+ year downward spiral that we could trace back to his junior year of high school.  At his point, he was a 23-year old adult with two bags of belonging and nowhere else to go. 

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